grief... two decades later

An eight year old girl's brain (even a whole one) cannot grieve the enormity of loss that occurred at 4:30pm Friday July 6th 1990. So here I am... grieving my big brother and a healthy whole brain.  Grieving for that future that could have been if God had only... but He didn't... and I will CHOOSE to still trust Him.  I want to copy down some of Steven Curtis Chapman's lyrics from his album that emerged from his grief over the loss of his little girl. He expresses the honesty of his grief and unswerving faith in God so well... I can so relate:

"This is not how it should be... this is not how it could be... but this is how it is... and our God is in control...     This is not how it will be... when we finally will see...we'll see with our own eyes... He was always in control...

And we'll sing Holy, Holy, Holy is our God... and we will finally, really understand what it really means...

So we'll sing Holy, Holy, Holy is our God... while we're waiting for that day... This is not where we planned to be... when we started this journey... but this is where we are... and our God is in control... Though this first taste is bitter... there will be sweetness forever...when we finally taste and see that our God is in control....."

His song "Faithful"  are on the side of this page.  Powerful.