Beauty for ashes

my heart rejoices to the Lord with this song!

Isaiah 61:3

Restoration

Restoration is a beautiful word.  Especially when only God can truly restore.  It has been approximately half a year since the utter brokenness and grief hit me. There were times when I felt so broken, I didn't know how I could possibly be healed.  I remember saying something about how I felt used up.  I was so sick mentally with the grief... I doubted at times if there would be an end to the utter sorrow.  While letting go of Matt was a process that I knew there would eventually be healing from, the grief of my brain injury was something I thought would go on.  My dad had told me that it would get better.  I replied something like, "No it won't! My brain will always be damaged!"  He said something like, "Well, not physically better, but emotionally." I guess this was something I hadn't realized yet.  Sure... I would  need to accept it, but to be content and even joyful?
His Word has proven true:
"For if he causes grief, then He will have compassion according to His abundant lovingkindness." Lam 3:32
  "...weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5b
   "Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting." Psalm 126:5

True healing... true joy.  Now if only I could truly find joy in the MIDST of sorrow. And not just to FIND it, but to allow it to continually sustain me.  Allow HIM/ CHRIST to sustain me... because my joy comes from Him, knowing Him.  Jesus Christ bought me with His blood, He sought me and pursues me still.  This should bring me incredible joy no matter what life throws at me.  The hurt is reality, but He walked with me through the darkness of the sorrow and He walks me still through the healing.  He came to bring abundant joy... abundant life, (John 10:10 and John 15:11).  There is true joy after the sorrow.  But would I consider it joy when I encounter trials? (James 1:2). I wonder what this would this look like.

To all who read this:  cling to Him.... don't let go.  He has not abandoned you.  If you can't see Him or feel Him, know that He is there.  Hold onto hope.  He is the great healer, but He has much to teach you in your time of brokenness.  Go to Him with your pain, go to Him with your questions, but don't let go of your faith in Him... His character is true.  He is faithful and He IS good.