how quickly I forget

It's been almost a year... and God has brought me so far.  Healing on so many levels.  And as far as my independence that I thought was simply a mirage (is that the right word?)... well, I now own my own business (founded "Sadie's Senior Services"), registered with the state of Virginia as a LLC.  I am financially able to move out (with a roommate) and am on the waiting list at a Westwind Farms apartment in Ashburn, VA (about 20 min from mom and dad).  (I could use a 5th client though due to the cost of utilities).   Hmm... looks good.  But wow... where last summer I was in awe of how far God had brought me and so thankful for the clients that HE had brought me... I have gotten so wrapped up in it all that I strayed from my first love...the source of these blessings.  It became MY business, MY (future) apartment, even MY money! And of course there was that spending spree in August and September... MY paintingsand decor because it was MY money!  God stopped getting the credit for my success and my focus went to His gifts and away from the Giver. 
I forget that I am a jar of clay (2 Cor 4) and all that is good is from God and for Him... for His glory!  Seriously.   But yet honestly there was a part of me that felt I deserved it all... and I clung to it.  After the grief and anxiety I went through last winter, I felt it was my right.  Well, I'm giving it all back to God.  And as I finally finished Beth Moore's Bible Study "Breaking Free" (that I started last March), I pray that from my brokenness, I will be a "display of His splendor".